Perform a Lobotomy On My First Girlfriend
This is my first day… lift your right arm if this hurts.
My best friend is someone who reverts to passive-aggressiveness when I’m acting like a giant peen, talking about some authentic cheesecake from the 18th century and making him feel like a chump.
Wow! Uh, Sorry everyone. I guess I shouldn’t have had those bean burritos for lunch. Ok… Now that I got that out, we can start the show… (deep breath) WHOA! PEEEE YEW! Th… god… ugh… oh no!… (throw up noises) FUCK THIS SHIT! I’m goin home. Fuckin assholes feeding us beans for lunch. This job blows. I hate this bitch. I hate all you bitches.
Beth, you are really fucked up, you have been like wearing those gloves for like a year.
Smile at me like that again motherfucker, and I will treat you like Tanya Harding and shove a stick up your ass.
Welcome to Creepy Balloon Dance Fucking
Breaking News: West Virginia man celebrates Christmas be screwing his balls into his own Christmas tree. When asked why, his response was he funneled too much eggnog.
The Green Swish: He shoots you with his .45, or one of his seven penises.
Well? That’s awesome and all but… I have a time machine and I went back in time and took a massive shit in that boat… and I didn’t flush… I win!
Welcome to the beautiful island of Key West. Our native island bird is known as the Key Cock. You can see them outside of any local chicken joint… and also inside…
I can only think of seven people who could have feet that big: Andre The Giant, Killer Kowalsky, Condoleeza Rice, Tony The Tiger, Jabba The Hutt, Barry Bonds, and Alanis Morrissett. That squeally byatch got some huge ass feet now.
This ticket gets you entry into the show of the year, “Trumpet Tramps”! There’s no hole they won’t use!
Welcome to Creepy Balloon Dance Fucking! A zesty new aerobics workout that maximizes the benefits of mankind’s natural desire to dance with balloons, with fucking. Lots and lots of fucking.
Shalamalamadingdong
I Love Red
Shalamalamadingdong
I have pubie hair head
Gee Elvis, will you let me cum aboard your yacht so I can swab your deck, raise your mast and steer your vessel into my deep ocean?
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